In Your Dreams
by MysticInca
Summary: I have read far too many badfics for this pairing, and though I love them to bits and pieces…. Let's just say my muse refused to lay dormant. This is purely for fun, and a good laugh, there is not a thing in here that is serious in the least bit. Anyhow


_A/N: Forewarning… I have read far too many badfics for this pairing, and though I love them to bits and pieces…. Let's just say my muse refused to lay dormant. This is purely for fun, and a good laugh, there is not a damn thing in here that is serious in the least bit. Anyhow, read and enjoy what my sarcastic little muse demanded that I put on paper. There will not be any additonal chapters to this, like I stated before, this is merely my own little parody on the hundreds of Badfics that are out there today._

_Do NOT expect any plot of any kind. And please refrain from reading if you get the stomach queesies with Mature content. _

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**Disclaimer: I highly doubt that Takahashi-Sensei would ever allow one such as myself to even borrow these characters. So as far as claiming possession, nope, I do not own, I shall never own I am merely a sadistic writer with a fetish for them.**

_**Completely Un-beta'ed… read at your own risk.**_

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**In Your Dreams**

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Stumbling through the woods Kagome tripped, dodged and burst through the thick foliage of the ancient forest. She had absolutely no clue as to where she was heading; her sense of direction never being her strong point as she currently hoped that whatever direction she ran, was the direction away from what ever was chasing her.

Feet no longer listening to the harsh demands of her brain, they gave out and sent Kagome as a human projectile toward the hard and unyielding ground. With a sharp cry she attempted to brace herself for the eminent impact that was sure to come. Yep she'd be making a nice Kagome sized crater any second.

Any moment now…

Um?

Curiosity piqued, Kagome delicately opened one eye then the other and blinked.

UM!

Standing as regally as inhumanly possible was the Lord of the Western Lands, his cold yellow eyes glaring off to the side. And with a very human squawk, Kagome was ceremoniously introduced to said yellow eyes.

"Miko."

Squeaking in a rather unlady-like fashion, Kagome bemoaned the fact that her heart had lost all courage and was now humbly hiding under her stomach. Frightened would have been an understatement of the year, she was currently having an out of body experience. Surely there was no possible way, let alone explanation, as to why InuYasha's, sometimes happily demented, brother was propping her upright against his rather warm and kinda lumpy form.

Wait….

"Eeeiiiaaa!" With the dexterity she didn't know she possessed Kagome managed to wiggle her way out of his, interestingly enough, light grip and placed a good several feet between them. Brown eyes blinking fast in a nervous, terrified way Kagome sought to reattach her vocal cords together.

"Sesshomaru, what are you doing here!"

Hmmm, yes… she was particularly intelligent today. Goodbye life, I knew you well.

Practically panicking, Kagome completely missed the rather crazed look in the youkai Lord's eyes. She, however, did not miss the single step he took in her direction.

Self-preservation is a wonderful thing, too bad Kagome seemed to have none at the moment.

"Stay away from me! Or I'll…I'll… um… I'll purify your balls off!" Patting herself on the back Kagome rejoiced in her witty response to his unspoken erm… demand?

Then to her utmost shock, the stoic Lord with a morbid pleasure of slinging gore across the countryside, chuckled. After her initial shock, Kagome shivered with the soft husky sound of his deep rumbling chuckle. Her bright eyes fluttering as all her blood rushed away from her head and it seemed her heart had finally wandered home and decided to go back to work only to once more screw with her circulatory system.

"Such words, Miko. The hanyou is rubbing off on you."

Before his words had a taken root within her mind, Kagome was faced with a different problem. One being a six-foot, 160+ pound youkai that was not only standing mere inches from her but also subtly sniffing the air around them.

It was now that Kagome's fear had dribbled down from a rushing rapid river to a burbling creek and in its place was curiosity. What ever he was sniffing at had captured away his attention from her. And with a resounding mental POP! Kagome's cerebral functions returned full force as she now took this; however brief opportunity, to disappear from the immediate vicinity.

Backing away as silently as she could, Kagome managed to move just a few feet away before her 'flight or fight' function took over and she bolted back into the darkness of the forest. Once more finding herself outrunning a dangerous encounter with an equally dangerous creature, yet once again forgetful of the fact that said dangerous creature would and could catch up with her in a scant second.

Hindsight is the best sight, just it seems to never quite work when it would have been nice to have had it.

Fleeing never felt so good, with the dimmed moonlight pouring down through the thick boughs Kagome felt strangely alive and much like a wooden spirit dancing with the eerily entrancing shafts of light. Lost within her mental realm of dancing with moonbeams, Kagome completely ignored the fleeting touch of a gentle wind against her cheek until her wrist was suddenly caught and jerked back. With a strangled cry, Kagome found herself; for the second time that night, wrapped within the light grip of a youkai man.

"You cannot outrun me, human." Though his voice belied what she couldn't possibly accept as true, Kagome was almost certain that if she could have seen his expression at that moment it would have been his half bored, half annoyed everyday expression.

Her own annoyance, mixed tightly with her fear, rose up from within realms that lived close to her own stupidity and spurred her to speak out sharply, "What do you want with me? Let me go!"

How she expected him to respond the moment her icy words left her mouth from the way he did react left Kagome's world to tilt off axis.

His hips rocked against her own.

Um! Holy mother of God in heaven, please tell her THAT was NOT what she was insinuating it to be!

Sesshomaru was off his rocker. He had gone crazy, lost all contact with all the morals he held so possessively dear to him. Either that or someone was playing a horribly cruel trick and Kagome was not appreciating it very much in the least.

"I ah… um… huh?"

Mentally smacking herself upside her mental forehead Kagome cringed, what in the world was she going to do now? Better yet, why was she still in the obviously mentally warped arms of a currently insane youkai lord?

"Sesshomaru?" She was barely able to repress the soft eep that struggled to gush out as she attempted to use her voice once more.

Soft lips, soft thin lips that had uttered her ultimate demise as well as the demise of the boy she loved so many times in the past where now brushing against her neck.

Too close. He was way too close. She couldn't think. She didn't want to think, wait no! Thinking was good, thinking kept her alive, and she had to think. She had to think of some way that would get her out of this situation in, preferably, one piece and also preferably untouched.

"Sesshomaru, are you, um… feeling well?" Well gee, that was terribly bright. Shall we insult his intelligence while we're at it?

"Hmm…" Deep and husky is an evil thing, Kagome decided. For some reason she knew she should have been terrified of the deep rumble his chest had just made, but then again she should have held up on her promise to toast his family jewels.

Oh God, and currently, said jewels were pleasantly nudging against her again.

"EEP!" With another high pitched squeal, Kagome wiggled and squirmed and tried in vain to worm herself far away from what she knew, but then again wished she didn't, was rubbing insistently against her.

Oh how she wished she had actually listened to Sango those months ago when she had gone encyclopedia on her. Curse her short attention span! Something was up with the Dog Lord… obviously. Red infused her face at the double meaning her mind had pulled on her.

Damn it all to hell, she couldn't think very well when he was …whoa there!

Squirming again, Kagome once more sought freedom away from his arms and his, erm, yeah. She needed to think and thinking was quickly becoming rather complicated.

"I'm a virgin!" Ah ha! There, maybe if he knew she had no experience she would be okay? All right, that sounded dumb even to her.

His deep, rumbling chuckle shook through her once more only this time in its wake it left some interesting effects. Kagome was sorely tempted to ask him to do it again just so she could figure out why she was now tingling.

"And? Makes little to no difference to me, Miko."

Okay, shit. She was now in trouble.

"I'm human?"

"Again, makes no difference."

"…InuYasha will hunt you down and strangle you with your own balls?" So she was getting desperate, she already figured that she would most likely not live after this rendezvous, so why not.

His chuckle returned with a slightly different texture and every nerve ending within her body went on high alert. Oops, maybe that was going too far.

"This Sesshomaru would like to see him try."

"You really don't want to do thi..ack!" Hand, hand, hand! He only had one, how could she not notice it moved and casually groped her breast.

"You speak too much." Now Kagome would have snapped her jaw shut had she had the opportunity, but unfortunately for her, her jaw had now gone slack.

Sesshomaru's chest rumbled again, softer, huskier and just the subtle sound sent a flurry of tingles shooting down her spine. Along with the almost gentle rotations of his fingers against her encased nipple Kagome was quickly turning to goo within his arm.

Maybe his whole plan was to kill her with the strange tingly sensation that was zooming down her spine and settling beneath her belly. At this moment Kagome felt a little multi-personality disorder appear as half of herself was screaming for her to take off for the trees and scream for InuYasha, while her other half was already digging around for some duct tape to shut the other louder part up.

She was getting hot; the hand on her breast seemingly growing bored with the little plucks to her nipple was traveling southward. Passing over top her belly and pausing as another deep chuckle rose from the youkai behind her when her muscles jumped under his touch. His mouth was now getting in on the action and trailed nips, bites and soft suctions across her neck and collar.

Kagome was three seconds from lost and she had the distinct feeling that Sesshomaru knew it too. She was little more than a pose-able doll within his arms to do with as he so pleased. Frankly, Kagome could care less just as long as he didn't stop, those tingles felt kind of nice.

"Miko, dirty Miko, do you like this?"

It was now her turn to go mute, eyes rounding in shock as five careful fingers reached their destination and pressed hard against her moist panties.

Five gentle, lethal fingers swiftly split the soft fabric and hastily went to work against a bundle of nerves Kagome herself had only just found weeks ago.

"Oh!" She cried out, hips thrusting against the palm of his hand. If he stopped now she'd castrate him herself.

Narrow, soft, moist lips whispered dirty things into her ear as fingers she had only ever seen destroy teased her within an inch of her life. She could almost hear the smirk he was wearing over the hard pulsing of the blood rushing through her veins.

Cocky bastard…

Nimble, curious little fingers moved down, alongside her sides before disappearing behind her back and wedging themselves between their hot bodies. Stroking, probing Kagome sought to make the Lord cry out just as wantonly as her.

His fingers ceased their movement a sharp warning growl rumbled in her ear and Kagome's 'flight or fight' function finally turned back on only to backfire seeing as she froze in place.

That lethally erotic hand moved with a slow agonizing pace, creeping between their bodies and with a gentle tug, forced her hand, which had been dangerously close to his pride and joy, away.

"Miko, I did not give you permission to touch me."

And yet within Kagome's still slightly hazed mind she heard, "Kagome, touch the balls and die."

A sheepish laugh gurgled past her lips, oops seemed he remembered all to well her earlier threat that she had seemed to have forgotten ever making.

Spending a brief moment to ponder her situation, Kagome found herself more curious as to why Sesshomaru, Lord to all things bloody, was seducing her in the middle of a moonlit forest. And figuring she was already in further than her head she chose to ask her question.

"Um… why?"

Kagome glared at her mental self who in turn giggled sheepishly and held up a banner that stated, "on vacation, be back in a few years."

But it seemed Sesshomaru hadn't been listening to her once again, or perhaps he had been but had decided that her wonderful repertoire for words was obviously far beneath his ability to respond too.

She was turned and it suddenly became a bit breezier than a moment ago.

Confused Kagome simply chanced a glance downward and blinked. Then promptly screamed.

"Hentai!" Doing a little jig she managed to get both her hands to cooperate with her and cover her very exposed groin.

Sesshomaru merely raised an eyebrow, her green skirt dangling from his claws, "Indeed."

And before her scandalized eyes could possibly comprehend what his wondrous fingers were doing, Kagome found herself attempting to glare at an equally exposed youkai man.

Whoa! Hello there, how are you?

Blushing the champion of all blushes she forced her modestly perverted eyes to attempt to view safer ground.

How the hell had he gotten completely undressed in such a short amount of time with ONLY one hand!

It was then, Kagome decided, that hip lines were really nice seeing how her eyes refused to travel in either direction. Which in itself was a good thing, she would have surely slapped him for the toothy smirk of beaming male ego.

Licking her lips, she once more sought to reconnect her head with her vocal cords.

"Whatswrongwithyouandwhyareyoutryingtoscrewmeinthemiddleoftheforest!"

So it may not have made all that much sense but at least she could be happy in the fact that she had, indeed, asked.

Heaving what seemed to be a huge annoyed sigh, Sesshomaru graced her with a final annoyed glance, "The moon and you were the closest female that didn't completely disgust me."

Aw, he had such a wonderful way of making someone feel all warm and fluttery inside.

Jerk!

Never ceasing to amaze her, Sesshomaru must have known what was going on through her mind the moment his words left his mouth.

He pounced.

He pounced HARD.

"EEP!"

Crashing against the ground with someone of equal and more weight to them is neither a happy nor a pleasant experience. But then again, having that said someone gently graze their lips over her ear more than made up for it.

Kagome had often wondered at the texture of Sesshomaru's hair, being that her own never seemed to mind the demands her brush placed on it. But it was a time such as now that her curiosity turned suddenly to a maddening fit of giggles.

It was really soft and really light and it tickled like crazy.

Shrieking in ticklish hell, Kagome struggled to bind his wayward hair up and away from any part of her nearly exposed body. Which in turn, she could not be surprised, caused her once upon a time bringer of doom to growl in aggravation.

"Sorry, sorry! Your hair, it tickles."

Kagome did notice, rather belatedly, that even one such as Sesshomaru didn't hold the vast amounts of patience she had once thought he possessed.

"Miko, I tire with your words."

She stuck her tongue out at him, never realizing how absolutely absurd the entire situation was.

"Just a second, okay? Sit up and I'll braid it and then we can…um…" Invent another shade of red.

Pushing himself up and off of her for merely a moment, Sesshomaru, in an act that surprised and alarmed her, twisted and knotted his long locks of hair. Piercing yellow eyes never once leaving her own and quite plainly demanding that she remain as she was or else.

With the ease of a born predator he repositioned himself back over top of her and picked up where he left off. Thus turning Kagome back into the happy little puddle of goo she had once been. His single hand was everywhere at once, his lips, tongue and teeth were hard to work at the base of her neck but his hips, his hips were burning against hers.

Another one of his deep chuckle-like growls and his knee parted her thighs, the remains of a pair of cotton panties were quickly and efficiently removed and tossed off to God knows where. And then at the moment of moments Kagome found herself suddenly….

….

Being jerked awake?

"Oi! Kagome, wake up! We don't have the time to lay around all damn day long waiting for your lazy ass to finally…."

Yawning, Kagome snuggled back underneath her sleeping bag, "Sit."

And as the resounding 'KATHUD' followed by a heavy sigh and several snickers echoed around the forest, Kagome smiled dreamily against her pillow.

It had all been a dream, a rather crazy and incredibly odd dream, but just a dream none the less. Giggling softly to herself, Kagome placed a mental bookmark within the dream she had been so rudely awakened from, for later. Every girl needed to have her fantasy, and though hers, currently, seemed to be about a bloodthirsty tyrant with incredibly soft hair and a huge….she had every intention of fully enjoying THAT at a later date. For now, however, she had another tyrant to contend with and breakfast to make.

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Coming out of a deep, and slightly perturbed sleep, Sesshomaru growled and blinked his weary eyes. What in the hell had he just dreamed about? From the best of his memory all he could gather was it had something to do with him in heat, here he scoffed harshly, and attempting to screw a Miko that had attempted to roast off his balls.

That was the absolute last time he was ever going to bed after drinking that particular year of sake.

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_**FIN**_

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